The Real Meaning of Life




i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

Fireman: It’s against the law to burn anything except trash in your own yard ma’am. 
Bernadine: It is trash. 

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When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.
Lemony Snicket (via fairestregal)
Remember to always be who you are, you are the fucking shit. No one can change that. Don’t let them.
Alex Gaskarth (via hanpixiesnow)